The Story Behind Mum's Memorial Garden

My mom just after she came to the US in 1966.

My mother has always been an gardener, her flowers were always beautiful. It's one of my fondest memories of her as a kid was helping out in the gardens. Back then I was terrified of worms and coming across them would ruin my whole day. But she taught me that they were good to have in the garden. My mother taught me many things.

I don't know when she actually started this garden of hers, based around a lilac, pussywillow, and a small watergarden, but I know she had spent a lot of time getting things just right. The lilac has now blooms in the spring, the pussywillow is a proud tree, and the water garden is surrounded by scavenged rocks. Her and I would go to the beach to collect the rocks that separate the garden from the lawn. They wouldn't just be any old rocks either, we would pick up the largest ones we could carry, and fill up the car with them. We often did this later so less people would be at our spot, as she thought it was stealing.

I don't know much of the stories behind the plants she had planted years ago, where she got them and why she planted them where she did, and I only know the names of a few of them. The large stone by the pond is a perfect seat. It was moved from where the picnic table was under the big old hemlock, where the dog pen is now. When I was smaller I used it as a table, as I grew I used it as a seat. But now it has found it's home next to the water so you can sit and admire the surroundings.

Over the past few years Mum had gotten tired, it was hard for her to keep up with the constant battle with grass that took over from mowing the lawn. She did well with the weeds as I didn't find many of them in there this year, but the grass was definitely abundant. Last year she was on new medication that said keep out of the sun, this also created a bit of fear and kept her out of the garden, so I bought her a gardening hat.

I wish I picked up on how tired she had been getting last year, so I could ask her all the questions that pop up now. My Mum passed away this March after a two week battle with Lung Cancer. Who knew this was the real reason why she was tired?

My Mom in June of 2012

Since she passed in late March I have been making her garden my top priority. I want it to be completed, because it is something that she is not here to do. I have always loved my own garden, but this one has a sense of what it wants to be. This year the plants are thriving, her favorite, the Jack and the Pulpit is the biggest I've ever seen. I hear her voice saying as I dug weeds to help her "Watch out for the Jack and the Pulpit, make sure you don't pull him up." Honestly, I don't know if she had ever seen it actually bloom in her garden before. This all gives me a sense that she is here, and is grateful I am doing this for her.

So this is  the story behind why I've taken over this garden. It may be a sad one, but the life within the garden is proof that things do not have to be sad for long. Digging in the dirt has made me feel better when I start to feel lost. The birds chirping, and even a visit from the wild rabbits make me realize as one life stops, others go on, others are born, and things do continue on.

Working in the garden is therapy for many things.